2019: Year of Personal Transformation

A Year of Personal Transformation

The last few years of my life have been amazing, scary, exciting…just a whirlwind of experiences and emotions. But 2019 has been very different with the key word being transformation, and more specifically personal transformation.

Admittedly, for the first half of 2019, I wasn’t really paying attention to my intentions or where I was going. When 2019 started I had one intention: travel. I didn’t know where (with the exception of my brother’s wedding) and I didn’t when or how. But after one weekend trip into the Colorado mountains I felt inspired.  I started to follow my intuition and practice what I struggle with the most: ‘Don’t think, just do’.

This simple shift created this website/blog. It also took me to some beautiful places from Colorado to Florida to Costa Rica. It pushed my photography to the next level.  And most importantly it opened the gate to the next phase of my personal growth and spiritual journey.

The Caterpillar and the Butterfly

Fair warning some of you will either completely relate to what I’m about to say or it might seem a little confusing.

We all know caterpillars eventually enter their cocoons and transform into butterflies. What some don’t know is that in order to make that transformation they turn into goo inside the cocoon. Yep, they completely break down in order to rebuild into a butterfly.

Now, I am all too familiar with the concept of breaking life down and then rebuilding from scratch, I’ve done it multiple times over the course of my life. But, until mid-2019 hit, I’d never felt like goo.

I had this super strong driving force motivating me to do things and go a certain direction in life. I had this innate knowing that where I was headed was right and that it was going to be successful. Even though, there were no external reasons to believe this. I felt like the golden path was just a few steps away and yet I knew I just needed to be patient and stay. Just like the caterpillar I knew the world was just on the other side of my cocoon, but I wasn’t quite ready to exit.

Caterpillar = Transformation

Why do I relate so much to this caterpillar/butterfly/goo metaphor? Well, because the caterpillar doesn’t just wake up one day and become a butterfly. It’s a process. And ultimately that process includes completely breaking down and letting go of the old identity (the caterpillar) to allow for the rebirth and transformation into the new identity (the butterfly).  

Much of our personal growth includes taking the experiences we’ve been through in our lives and everything that it has taught us, in order to build a foundation or a path to the next level. Much like a staircase we go one step at a time, slowly building and progressing upwards.

Let Go

But transformation is a completely different type of growth. To transform just as the caterpillar/butterfly does, we have to let go and surrender to life. We must let go of our old identity and our past. You shed every part of who you think you are.

For me, this transformation was pretty emotional. I had already done the work and dealt with my past and everything I’ve been through. But surrendering meant confronting every story, every narrative, every emotion, every fear; in order to accept it all for what it was and let it go.

This really meant diving deep into my motivations, my world views, my subconscious blocks, my triggers and the core basis for my current identity. And what I realized is that no matter how well you’ve dealt with your past, specially your traumas. There can still be some lingering emotions tied to those events.

If you’ve ever been through this, you know how disconnected yet energized it can make you feel.  So, I spent the summer living in the moment. I did a lot of introspection & self-discovery, I took a semi-break from social media and writing, I pushed my limits, I went to Costa Rica and I came back a totally different person. The rest of 2019 has been filled with learning and putting the final pieces together to mold my old reality into my new one.

A New Phase

2019 was the year of transformation for me. It was my goo phase. 2020 will be the introduction of my butterfly phase. I have a lot of exciting things coming next year. But I’m most excited to start life coaching. In the coming months I will be opening applications to work 1:1 with me. Wherever you are in your personal journey, whatever blocks you might have and whatever path is calling you in life. Personal growth is much more fun when you have someone to help you along the way. I will help you overcome your fears/anxieties/mental blocks and I will help you rewrite your narrative and create your path to becoming the butterfly you were always meant to be.

Let me know what 2019 has been for you and what 2020 will be. Let’s share in this journey together and make 2020 an amazing year!